The Fields Corner public library has stood the test of time, and so has my library card which went with you all the way to #Norway before you sent it back to me for Christmas, 2010 or something. I really thought you were the one, and a part of me still thinks that. I wish I had been on the plane with you instead, walking up the temple steps in Argentina, watching you pick out a bracelet and snus to mail with this now, finely aged sky blue piece of our tragic history. Maybe a more manic man would rip this up and apply for a new one, but it's all the same, I'd still think of you every time I wanted to find a book I'd never need to buy. I'd still think of you every time I want to study Buddhist deities in books that aren't rented to the public. And when I say that I mean "Yes, I did actually use my library card years after you said I wouldn't. No, not to spite you but yes, out of actual need." This memory, I carry around with me obliviously day in and day out, maybe I forget on purpose, but there are days like today where I stare at it and only remember.